The Safe Harbor: Why Your Child's Therapy Requires a "United Front"

Dec 19, 2025·By Cori McGuire

Therapy, Parenting Coordination, and the Role of Structure in High‑Conflict Parenting Disputes

In high‑conflict separations, parents often experience a persistent sense of scrutiny. Concerns commonly arise about how decisions will be perceived by the other parent, by the court, or by professionals involved with the child, including counsellors. These fears frequently surface in Parenting Coordination disputes about therapy, consent, and communication.

Parenting Coordination in British Columbia does not resolve these concerns by evaluating parents’ intentions, emotional states, or parenting philosophies. The role is limited to implementing existing court orders or agreements and managing the process through which parenting disputes are addressed.

Understanding that distinction is essential when therapy becomes an area of conflict.

The Legal Framework That Governs Parenting Coordination

Within Parenting Coordination, disputes are assessed through the statutory framework set out in the Family Law Act. Section 37 identifies the factors relevant to a child’s best interests, with particular emphasis on the child’s health, safety, emotional well‑being, and need for stability.

Parenting Coordinators do not determine who is the “better” parent, nor do they supervise or evaluate parenting quality. Similarly, counsellors engaged to work with a child are focused on the child’s developmental needs, not on judging parents or aligning with one side of a dispute.

When disagreements arise about therapy, the Parenting Coordinator’s task is to assess whether the process surrounding therapy—such as consent, transparency, and communication—aligns with the governing order or agreement and supports the child’s stability.

Therapy as a Process Issue, Not a Battleground

In Parenting Coordination, concerns about therapy are addressed procedurally rather than psychologically. The central questions are not why a parent made a particular decision, but whether the decision‑making process:

• Complies with the applicable order or agreement

• Preserves transparency between parents

• Avoids placing the child in the middle of adult conflict

• Supports stability and predictability for the child

Difficulties arise when therapy becomes entangled with parental dispute. When one parent unilaterally retains or changes a counsellor without required consent, or when therapy becomes a topic of secrecy or suspicion, the issue is no longer therapy itself. It is the effect of the dispute on the child and on the Parenting Coordination process.

Illustrative Process Example

For example, in some cases a dispute arises because one parent retains a counsellor for the child without consulting the other parent, contrary to the terms of the parenting order. The concern in Parenting Coordination is not whether the counsellor is “good” or whether the parent acted with positive intentions. The concern is that unilateral decision‑making can create instability, fuel mistrust, and place the child in a position where therapy becomes associated with parental conflict.

In assessing such a dispute, the Parenting Coordinator focuses on restoring a process that complies with the governing order, promotes transparency, and protects the child from divided loyalties. The outcome may involve clarifying consent requirements, setting communication boundaries, or, where authorized, making a limited determination to implement the existing agreement.

The Limits of Education and the Need for Structure

Parenting Coordination often includes education about how orders and agreements are meant to operate. In many cases, this leads to improved participation over time.

In some cases, however, the same issues are raised repeatedly despite explanation, and communication continues to deviate from agreed structure. When that occurs, continued education alone may no longer be effective.

Parenting Coordinators do not enforce court orders or impose penalties. Their responsibility is to manage the process fairly. Where authorized by the appointing instrument, this may include allocating costs associated with disproportionate process use or moving to a more structured, determination‑focused approach that strictly implements existing orders or agreements.

Protecting the Child’s Space

From a Parenting Coordination perspective, therapy should remain insulated from parental conflict. This means that disputes between parents should not be played out through the counsellor, and children should not be drawn into adult concerns about what occurs in therapy.

When parents are able to maintain appropriate boundaries, therapy is more likely to serve its intended purpose: supporting the child’s development without becoming another arena of conflict.

Conclusion: Structure as a Protective Tool

Parenting Coordination is not designed to eliminate all conflict, nor to resolve every disagreement through cooperation. Its purpose is to provide a structured process for implementing parenting arrangements in a way that protects children and treats parents fairly.

When cooperation is possible, education and communication support may be sufficient. When it is not, clarity, structure, and proportionality are not failures—they are protective tools.

The central question in any Parenting Coordination matter is not which parent is right, but what process best supports the child’s stability and well‑being at that point in time.

Written by Cori McGuire, a Parenting Coordinator since 2008 and a family law lawyer since 1998 in British Columbia. For furthering reading about protecting your children from high conflict, try The Non‑Negotiable Rule: Why Your Child Is Never the Messenger and Protecting Your Child from Conflict. For further reading visit our extensive Resource Library.