Secret Recordings in Parenting Coordination: Why Transparency is Non-Negotiable

Oct 02, 2025·By Cori McGuire

Parenting Coordination is designed to help parents implement existing parenting arrangements and reduce conflict that affects children. For that work to be effective, the process depends on openness, candour, and a shared understanding of how information is handled.

One issue that occasionally causes difficulty is the recording of conversations without notice or consent. Because this can undermine the process itself, it is important to understand how recording is addressed in Parenting Coordination.

Recording and the Parenting Coordination Process

Participation in Parenting Coordination is governed by the appointing order and the applicable participation agreement. These documents set out clear expectations about confidentiality and privacy, including limits on recording meetings or communications without the express, written consent of all participants.

These provisions are not about secrecy or control. They exist to ensure that Parenting Coordination functions as intended: a problem‑solving process focused on implementation rather than evidence‑gathering.

Why Undisclosed Recording Creates Problems

Parenting Coordination is not a court process. It is not adversarial, and it does not operate on the assumption that conversations are being preserved for later use. The work often involves plain language, clarification of misunderstandings, and frank discussion of options and consequences within the scope of existing orders.

When a conversation is secretly recorded, several difficulties arise.

First, it changes how people communicate. Participants may become guarded, less willing to speak openly, or reluctant to explore solutions if they believe their words may later be extracted from context and repurposed.

Second, recordings almost never capture full context. The person controlling the recording decides when it starts and stops. Tone, lead‑up, clarification, and resolution are often missing. In an implementation‑focused process, partial records can distort rather than clarify what actually occurred.

Third, recording can shift the focus away from children and toward positioning. When energy is spent preserving material “just in case,” the process can quietly move from problem‑solving to self‑protection. That shift tends to prolong conflict rather than reduce it.

Criminal Law Versus Process Expectations

Some parents are told that recording a conversation is lawful if they are a participant. Whether or not recording meets the threshold of a criminal offence is a separate question from whether it is appropriate within a voluntary, contract‑based dispute resolution process.

Parenting Coordination is governed by the terms of participation and by professional standards, not solely by criminal law. Conduct that is technically lawful can still be inconsistent with the expectations of the process the parents have agreed to use.

Raising Concerns Without Recording

Recording is not necessary to raise concerns, seek clarification, or set boundaries.

If a parent is troubled by something said during a meeting or conversation, a constructive approach is to document their recollection and raise the issue directly. For example:

• noting the comment and the context in which it was made

• asking for clarification about what was intended

• explaining how the comment was received

• identifying what would be helpful going forward

Stating one’s perception and requesting clarity or adjustment does not require proof or recordings. Parenting Coordination is not about proving misconduct; it is about addressing issues so implementation can continue.

Transparency Outside the PC Process

Parents sometimes ask about recording interactions outside of Parenting Coordination sessions. As with many aspects of post‑separation parenting, transparency is key.

Where communication is intended to be business‑like and predictable, undisclosed recording can erode what limited trust exists. Clear, upfront communication about boundaries and expectations is generally more consistent with the goals of reducing conflict and protecting children from ongoing parental disputes.

Keeping the Focus Where It Belongs

The purpose of Parenting Coordination is not to determine fault, assign blame, or build records for future proceedings. Its purpose is to help parents move forward under existing orders in a way that limits children’s exposure to conflict.

Practices that increase suspicion, defensiveness, or strategic positioning tend to work against that goal. Practices that promote clarity, openness, and predictability tend to support it.

Children benefit most when adult processes remain adult, transparent, and focused on resolution rather than surveillance.

Written by Cori McGuire, a Parenting Coordinator since 2008 and a family law lawyer since 1998 in British Columbia. Cori has many other articles on the parenting coordination process including: Understanding Enforcement, When a Co-operation Stops, and when the Process is failing, When Written Agreements are Ignored. Further reading by subject is found in our Resource Library.