Parenting Coordination Fees Explained: The Cost of Repetition, Not Resolution
Many parents believe Parenting Coordination becomes expensive because Parenting Coordinators charge high fees. In my experience, that is usually not the problem. The real cost driver is process. More specifically, the real cost driver is what happens when a Parenting Coordinator asks a direct implementation question and a parent responds with everything except an answer to that question.
The Myth: "The Parenting Coordinator Is Too Expensive"
Parents sometimes become frustrated with Parenting Coordination fees and conclude that the Parenting Coordinator is creating unnecessary expense. Most Parenting Coordinators charge for professional time actually spent on a file. The question is therefore not whether the hourly rate is expensive. The question is what is consuming the time.
In many cases, the issue itself is not complicated. The expensive part is the process required to obtain the information necessary to resolve it.
A Simple Issue Should Require a Simple Answer
Imagine a Parenting Coordinator asks: “If the child misses parenting time for a special event, what replacement parenting days would you like instead?” A responsive answer might be: “I would like December 23, two Spring Break days, and the October Pro-D Day”. That answer may be accepted, rejected, negotiated, or modified. But it moves the file forward.
Now imagine a five-page email discussing:
- historical grievances;
- what happened three years ago;
- what the previous Parenting Coordinator thought;
- why the schedule was unfair;
- transportation difficulties;
- literacy theories;
- why the other parent is unreasonable;
jurisdiction concerns; - complaints about the process.
The email may contain many words. Yet the Parenting Coordinator still does not know which replacement dates are being requested. The issue remains unresolved. The Parenting Coordinator must then spend more time seeking clarification.
The Part Clients Never See
Many parents assume Parenting Coordinators only bill for reading emails. That is not how Parenting Coordination works.
When an email is received, the Parenting Coordinator must often:
- Read the email.
- Determine what issue is actually being raised.
- Compare the email to earlier communications.
- Determine whether the email answers the question asked.
- Decide whether further clarification is required.
- Draft a response.
- Record the communication in the file.
- Account for the time.
- Later summarize the communication in a report and account.
- Assess whether the communication advanced or delayed resolution.
- Explain the process history if a determination becomes necessary.
- Explain any fee reapportionment decisions that may result.
A single non-responsive email can therefore generate several separate professional tasks. The resulting cost is not created by the Parenting Coordinator. It is created by the process required to deal with the communication.
The Difference Between Participation and Process Consumption
Every parent has the right to disagree, to be heard and to advance a position. However, those rights do not include an unlimited right to consume Parenting Coordinator resources discussing issues that do not assist in resolving the active dispute.
There is a difference between: "I disagree, and here is my proposal." and "I disagree, and here are fifteen reasons why I disagree, but I am not going to answer the question." The first response advances the file. The second response consumes the process.
Why Reapportionment Exists
Many parents mistakenly believe that Parenting Coordinator fees must always be shared equally. That is not necessarily correct. Equal allocation and fair allocation are not always the same thing. Most Parenting Coordinator agreements and appointments permit fees to be reapportioned where one parent's conduct requires disproportionate Parenting Coordinator involvement.
Reapportionment is not a punishment. It is an attempt to allocate costs where they were actually generated. A parent should not ordinarily have to pay half the cost of:
- repeated clarification requests;
- repeated process instructions;
- repeated explanations of the same issue;
- repeated requests for information that should have been provided the first time.
Where the Parenting Coordinator is required to spend significant additional time obtaining responsive information, fairness may require the costs associated with that additional process to be allocated differently.
The Parenting Coordination Paradox
One of the most common complaints I hear is: "The Parenting Coordinator is costing too much money."Sometimes the same parent making that complaint is also:
- sending lengthy emails;
- revisiting issues already addressed;
- refusing to provide requested information;
- raising collateral issues;
- requiring multiple rounds of clarification;
- forcing the Parenting Coordinator to explain the same point repeatedly.
The result is a paradox. The parent complains about cost while simultaneously creating the cost.
The Fastest Way to Reduce Your Parenting Coordination Fees
If you want to minimize Parenting Coordination fees, do the following: When the Parenting Coordinator asks a question, answer that question. If replacement dates are requested, provide dates. If a schedule proposal is requested, provide a schedule proposal. If supporting information is requested, provide supporting information. Do not assume that a lengthy narrative is equivalent to a responsive answer. The most cost-effective email is often the shortest one.
A Final Thought
Parents often believe the outcome of a Parenting Coordination file depends on who writes the longest email. It does not. Parenting Coordinators are not deciding who writes the best essay. They are deciding implementation issues.
The parent who most effectively assists the process is rarely the parent who sends the longest submission. It is usually the parent who answers the question asked, provides the information requested, and proposes practical solutions.
Those parents generally spend less on Parenting Coordination, resolve issues more quickly, and achieve better outcomes for their children. Ultimately that is what the Parenting Coordination process is designed to accomplish.
Link to other fees articles:
Reapportionment of Parenting Coordination Fees in British Columbia
How Parenting Coordination Is Structured to Contain Fees
Written by Cori L. McGuire, family law mediator, arbitrator, collaborative family law lawyer and Parenting Coordinator with a family law practice in British Columbia since 1998.
© 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.
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