BC Parenting Coordination vs. Mediation: Choosing the Best for Your Family
When parents separate or divorce, they are often encouraged to resolve disputes outside of court. In British Columbia, mediation and parenting coordination are two commonly used processes. Although they are sometimes grouped together, they are not interchangeable.
They differ in purpose, timing, duration, authority, and—most importantly—how children’s interests are protected.
Understanding these differences helps families choose the right process and avoid frustration, stalled agreements, or repeated returns to court.
Mediation: A Short‑Term, Consent‑Based Process
Mediation is a voluntary and consensual process. A neutral third party assists parents in negotiating their own agreement.
Mediation is most commonly used early in separation, before parenting arrangements are finalized, and it may address a broad range of issues, including:
• Parenting schedules
• Decision‑making responsibilities
• Property division
• Child and spousal support
Mediation is typically time‑limited—often a single session or a small number of meetings. Once an agreement is reached (or mediation ends), the mediator’s role concludes.
A mediator’s role is to:
• Facilitate discussion
• Help clarify interests and options
• Encourage compromise
• Assist with documenting agreements reached by consent
Mediators do not make decisions. Outcomes depend entirely on what the parents agree to.
Parenting Coordination: Ongoing Parenting Management After Separation
Parenting coordination is a post‑order, child‑focused process designed to help parents implement and comply with an existing parenting agreement or court order.
A Parenting Coordinator (PC) works with parents over an extended period of time—commonly one to two years. This long‑term structure is intentional. Parenting coordination is designed for families where:
• Conflict is ongoing or entrenched
• Communication repeatedly breaks down
• Children are exposed to recurring disputes
• Parents need structure, accountability, and consistency
A PC assists with the day‑to‑day and recurring issues that inevitably arise after separation, such as:
• Parenting schedules and exchanges
• School and education‑related issues
• Extracurricular activities
• Vacations and special occasions
• Communication rules and protocols
The PC’s role may include:
• Facilitating agreement where possible
• Educating parents about child development and the impact of conflict
• Coaching parents toward more effective communication
• Creating clear rules, protocols, and decision‑making frameworks
• Making binding determinations when parents cannot agree
A Critical Legal Difference: Best Interests of the Child
One of the most important distinctions between mediation and parenting coordination lies in how the best interests of the child are applied.
Under the Family Law Act, Parenting Coordinators are legally required to base any determination they make solely on the best interests of the child.
This means:
• A PC cannot approve a compromise simply because both parents agree to it
• If a proposed solution does not meet a child’s developmental, educational, or emotional needs, the PC must refuse it
• The PC must redirect parents toward a child‑focused alternative, even if that alternative is less convenient for one or both parents
In contrast, while mediators must advise parents that agreements affecting children should be in the child’s best interests, mediators do not independently assess, approve, or reject agreements on that basis.
As a result, mediation can sometimes produce agreements that are workable for parents but not optimal—or even appropriate—for the child.
A Practical Example
Imagine parents propose that a child miss school every second Friday to resolve a parenting‑time dispute. In mediation, a mediator may facilitate that agreement if both parents consent—even if it results in the child missing approximately 20 days of school per year.
A Parenting Coordinator must step back and evaluate the proposal through a best‑interests lens, considering factors such as:
• The child’s right to education
• Stability and routine
• Developmental needs
• School attendance requirements
• The difference between the quantity of parenting time and the quality of parenting time.
Rather than approving missed school days, a PC would likely redirect the parents toward alternatives that preserve school attendance while still supporting meaningful parenting time.
What About Med‑Arb?
Med‑arb combines mediation and arbitration in a single process. The professional first attempts to mediate an agreement and, if that fails, moves into the role of arbitrator to make a binding decision.
Like mediation, med‑arb is typically a discrete, time‑limited process, not an ongoing parenting management role.
The professional’s obligations depend on the role they are performing at the time:
• As mediator: facilitative and consent‑based
• As arbitrator: decision‑making, with binding outcomes that must comply with the best interests of the child
This structure further highlights why parenting coordination is fundamentally different in design, duration, and purpose.
Choosing the Right Process
There is no single “best” process—only the right process for the family’s circumstances.
Mediation or Med‑Arb may be appropriate when:
• Parents can negotiate in good faith
• Issues are unresolved and global
• A short‑term, agreement‑focused process is sufficient
Parenting Coordination may be appropriate when:
• A parenting order or agreement already exists
• Conflict is ongoing or recurring
• Parents need structure, education, and accountability
• Parenting decisions must consistently be filtered through a child‑focused framework
• Long‑term support is needed to stabilize parenting arrangements
Conclusion
Mediation, med‑arb, and parenting coordination are all alternatives to litigation—but they serve very different functions.
• Mediation and med‑arb are generally short‑term processes focused on reaching agreement.
• Parenting coordination is a long‑term, child‑focused process designed to manage conflict, implement orders, and protect children from ongoing parental disputes.
Choosing the right process at the right time can reduce conflict, limit court involvement, and—most importantly—support healthier outcomes for children.
Written by Cori L. McGuire, a PC since 2008 and a family law lawyer since 1998 in British Columbia. Cori has many other articles on the parenting coordination process including: Neutrality vs. Impartiality: Understanding the Core Ethical Role of Your Parenting Coordinator. Further reading by subject is found in our Resource Library.